White Trucks, white outs, and basics

I have strayed from what started me doing these stupid things, so back to basics we go

In order to get your redneck card in Texas you first must own  a white truck, everyone has a white truck, one bar we went by had 30 vehicles in it’s lot and I’m not lying 24 of them were white, Only people that don’t have to put up with white in their damn yard for 6 months would buy a white truck, or you have to be a confederate flag waving redneck I guess, the guy in the corner of the room with no friends in Texas–he’s the guy with the red truck, we did however see less gun racks than I expected

It’s cold, windy, snowy, rainy, sleety, f’ing miserably, you get the pictury, a foot of snow overnight tonight, I want baseball season to start for Justin but we may never get outside, I saw this kid sitting in his dad’s car today while his dad was in the gas station, He was digging further in his nose than I have ever seen someone go, and yes he then proceeded to pop it in his mouth, he did it 3 more times, it was disgusting but like a car accident I couldn’t turn away, he knew I was watching him and could have cared less, must have been hungry, he was a heavy little fella, about 170 and maybe 10 years old, boogers must be high in fat

speaking of fat, I found the 10 pounds I lost a couple weeks ago, apparantly they were in Texas waiting for me to eat them, Wasabi and soy sauce almonds are awesome, The tooth fairy at our house is hot, air pressure warning lights in new cars suck, ours has been on since we bought the car and the tires are fine, I kept filling it at first until I checked with a gauge and there was 60lbs in each tire, you are supposed to have 35 in case you didn’t know, it’s really annoying, I wonder if today is the last day this season the twins will be at .500, all the ducks and geese are back, the reproductive urge overpowers the desire to be warm and dry I guess, they aren’t that much different than men, boy are they going to rethink that tomorrow morning, I’m guessing they will think the suffering is worth it

Sun is better than clouds. Lionel Messi is amazing, constant wind zaps the life out of a person, I need to catch a walleye soon, I’m ready to go to Vegas again, I’ll pay for the room if you pay for the flight, people let their kids have to much pop(or soda for those outside Minnesota), then they wonder why their kid is fat and running around all night and won’t go to bed,  It’s duck duck gray duck, not duck duck goose, it’s a water fountain and not a bubbler, pop not soda, although I kind of like soda better, it sounds more cool, bubbler just sounds stupid, The Voice kicks idol and X factor’s ass, why do birds sing so gay, who wrote the book of love, I miss Johnny Cash, I got called sweetie several times in Texas, they obviously don’t really know me, I’ve lost all hope for the squirrel, I wonder if the trees will ever see their leaves again, Do you think the Iraqi monkey is back yet?, I think he is and he’s running North Korea now,

I bought Justin a first baseman’s glove and a regular glove yesterday, he still needs a catcher’s mitt, I wonder why they haven’t made a 2nd baseman’s glove and a shortstops mitt yet, they could then sell bigger bags so that you could carry your 9 gloves around, baseball companies would make millions, oh that’s right they already do, everybody needs to find a way to make themselves richer except me, they just invent ways to make me poorer,

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