High Pie and Pork duck

So about 3 weeks ago I stepped on the scale and decided enough was enough. I know I should have decided this awhile ago, but better nate than lever right?
so, Now I spend most days angry, I can’t eat, I’ve seen my neighborhood in many different ways, and it’s working!! I have lost 22 pounds in 3 weeks. I have no goal in mind and I have no idea how long it will last, but it’s all good so far. Walking and not eating whatever I want is all I have really done–funny you can’t eat cookies and brats and lose weight I guess. Enough about that. not really I guess. Here’s what I have noticed so far.

I spent way too much time in gas stations before. There is nothing good for you to eat in gas stations. I miss beef, I’m sick of chicken already, salad isn’t too bad, people need to take care of their yards better. You really don’t notice it in a car, but when you walk you see just how lazy people really are. My yard sucks, but that’s natures fault not really mine. Constantly thinking about what you eat is draining, not worrying about what you eat is deadly I hear. portion size is critical, but really makes a guy pissed off. my belt doesn’t have enough holes. Fast food sucks, it’s all bread. lettuce wraps are really tasty. it’s much easier to tie my shoes, I no longer get dizzy from cutting off the air to my lungs.

The song “honey I’m good” has always really annoyed me. Seriously dude you can’t control yourself? I will go home with you if I stay and have another drink. Really, you get drunk and forget about your wife? It is catchy, i get it, but the message is horrible.

High pie and pork duck–On our trip out east this summer, we got to spend a ton of time with our kids which was awesome, but somewhat interesting. We were waiting for the tide to be right to walk out to an island that could be reached at low tide by foot and Allie says this “so you can’t go to the island during high pie?” in another conversation about a group meal where everyone brings a separate dish to share Justin says –“so is tonight’s team dinner pork duck?”. Makes you wonder what other things they say and have no idea what the real name is. I just about drove off the road when I heard pork duck. I saw a dude in Verizon this summer with 2 little kids in tow both wearing AP jerseys. Really, you put your little kid in a jersey of a guy who took a switch to his little kid. Some old guy in Maine also called a VW a punch buggy–look left and there is a slug bug–who knew. I kind of like punch buggy better.

Some asshole the other day at Total Wine left his cart in the middle of the parking stall. He was in the stall right next to the cart return. I mean right next to it like 5 feet away. This is why some of us hate people. Seriously dude get out of my world, nobody likes you, you are ugly and even Jesus is finding it hard to forgive you for being a moron. My kids also thought the song “Funky Cold Medina” was chunky old Medina, not sure either makes much sense. and when I say asshole I mean that in the nicest, most friendly way possible

Hockey season is about to begin, which means it’s tryout season as well. I hate this time of year, but was hopeful with the changes being made. The process is frustrating, tiring, unfair, mysterious, political, and generally no fun for anyone. I have no problems where it looks like Justin will end up(hopefully that doesn’t change) but the weekend was not without it’s issues. I look forward to the season starting and making it through the last weekend of tryouts for both kids this weekend. Tuesday was tough to have a teary eyed 12 year old at 630am wondering what he had done wrong. Suck it up buttercup ( I didn’t say that, I just gave him a really long hug and told him we would be fine) The Wild also get to begin their 7 month journey of falling 15 points out of the last playoff spot and then making a mad crazed dash to get into the playoffs to be crushed by the rapist Patrick Kane’s team from Chicago.

I have a $10 bet on the Houston Astros to win the world series that I placed last April. If they win I cash in $610. I am a huge Astros fan.

These are the best of times and worst of times. I love the fall, I hate what comes next. I am angry thinking about it. I want to live where it’s 68 degrees every day. 10 DAYS TO VEGAS!!! I am bringing Jen this time!!!! We are going to have a super cool room because I have been schmoozing the director of guest services at the hotel for a month. I emailed her a sob story about my wife hating Vegas and it took a ton of work to get her to go with me and it’s our anniversary and our dog died and when it did it fell on our cat and killed her too, but only after she had eaten our son’s pet bird, so she kind of had it coming, but my wife loved that cat and she really needs a vacation and will you please do what you can to make her stay awesome. She emailed back and said she would take care of us personally (and she’s a big wig VP of guest services type) and put us on a high floor facing the strip. I can’t wait to be in my favorite place with my favorite person, it’s going to be awesome. A suite and some flowers or chocolates would be nice too lady, I mean our turducken died and ruined our Thankschristmas.

I really can’t believe Donald Trump is still around

I have a $10 bet on the Vikings at 35 to 1 to win the Super bowl. If the Astros and Twins win, I will have an awesome spring trip to Vegas to cash tickets. If not I will have an awesome spring trip to Vegas.

I need a job, I am now accepting offers for employment and career ideas.

The chipmunks in my yard have been disappearing, not sure why. Please actually take the time to monitor you children’s social media accounts. It’s kind of important not only for them but for the rest of us. Also remember they are your children and not your friends, be their parent. Watch the CNN special about 13 year olds and social media, it’s worth the watch. If they are bullying someone—-THAT’S BAD– not something to ignore. It’s not time to laugh with them or encourage them. It’s bad, just saying. Donald frickin Trump. Hilary looks like she’s been in a bar in Wisconsin for the past 10 years. I’m thinking part of the problem is guns. Not sure assault rifles are meant to be in the public’s hands. There is more to it than that, but it is part of the problem. All the cute pry it out of my cold dead hands facebook posts are becoming a little pathetic. Nobody will be coming to your house to take your guns. Obama was born here and even if he wasn’t it’s time to move on. He has HUGE ears. I think that might be where the missing brains ended up and they are on a Q-tip somewhere in Chad or Liberia or wherever he grew up. I know why the chipmunks are disappearing.

I miss Surly, it’s also kind of been a diet casualty. It won’t be for long. It’s too important to my health. Allie might be the best human being I know. She is so sweet, she got that from me. Simon and Garfunkel are easily the best duo of all time, Allie and Justin’s hockey teams could be on the losing end of quite a few hockey contests this winter, what is a winger, I miss chocolate, and ice cream, solar eclipses are cool, hockey’s back!!, can’t wait for baseball season, go ASTROS, do rich people really need tax breaks, I need to be a rich people to find out if I need a tax break, I’m good at making omelets, Dodd is finally open, not sure what they did for 18 months, but it’s open, I don’t believe that Obama grew up in Chad or Liberia, it was in Hawaii, I wish I grew up in Hawaii, I wouldn’t have ever left, I miss Cooperstown, I miss wearing my really cool dew rag that Dave Marrinan wishes he had, I’m getting him one for Christmas, I’ll try not to take so much time between posts. Now that Winter is almost here I will have more to be pissed off about. Having an awesome wife and pretty cool kids is mellowing me out too much. stupid people.

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