A guy from India fixed my blog!!

He did it mostly by email and a little over the phone, but a guy from India fixed my blog. He then “pretended” to have phone issues and dropped my call. Funny, I had more questions and really this guy who knows more about phones and computers than even Algore magically drops a call just when the questions were getting tough. I doubt it. either way, my highly intellectual and extremely humorous well read blog is back on the air for all of my 27 loyal followers to excitedly click onto with the anticipation of a 5 year old on Christmas morning.

You would think I would have all these witty and interesting things saved up after a 4 month absence, but I really got nothing. I did wonder the other day if I was the only one in the world who “took vitamins” by occasionally grabbing one of the kids chewable gummy vitamins when they weren’t looking. I took it so far as to actually buy gummy adult vitamins as I rather enjoy the whole gummy experience. I have experienced several bad drivers lately as usual. The other day I honked at someone doing something stupid and when I pulled up along side the guy and looked over, I decided quickly it wasn’t a good idea to be honking at just anyone. Dude looked straight out of Sons of Anarchy. I about shit my pants thinking he was going to follow me until I ran out of gas and pull off my toes and fingers one by one. I decided after that, I should make sure the drivers I honked at were women under 5 feet and old people over 75, just to be safe I will make it 80. I do only have 1 arm to work with here.

Man, the frustration I had of writing out this blog like 4 times and having it not save was awful. I had some really funny stuff in there too. As I write that line I realized that I am not certain that my friend from India really fixed anything so everything I am now typing may magically disappear in the same awful fashion as my last 4 masterpieces did.

Jen is going to Ireland and Florida in the next 4 months, I wonder if that means I get to go somewhere– where I will go? Squirrel

“Take Me To Church” is my current favorite song. The irony of that is not lost on me. Anyone who knows me understands that I only go when forced on Holidays and when I can drop the kids off for a free hour and a half of church sponsored day care. You know the kind that Hosanna offers with 1,500 Witnesses–I mean other church going children of god:)
My wife will be all worried that I will make some people upset with the last comment. I will now add a disclaimer–Jennifer has nothing to do with the above statement and does not condone my nonsense around this subject. I love her and hundreds of church going people everywhere, just as the man upstairs says to do. I am just not always a fan of those buildings you see all over the place, not the ideas sometimes talked about in them. No kittens were hurt in the writing of that last sentence, but they will be hurt if they keep coming in my garage.

Job Description of a Ice Hockey Center: Score goals with incredible efficiency, stand in front of the net to bang home tough scrappy goals and clog up the view of the goaltender, set up flying wingers for easy goals, effectively devise amazing cellys ,be cold blooded on the breakaway, have the vision/quickness of a Cougar able to pounce at a moments notice and……. play strong defense in front of your own net in support of your defensemen (otherwise know as the guys who just stand around on the blue line while you score amazing goals that make all the old people clap and scream loudly)

Man the Wild are frustrating–almost as frustrating as the Lakeville South PeeWee B1 team is. So much talent and skill and passion, yet no consistency. Beat a great team one night, lose to a winless crappy team the next. Justin is continuing to light the lamp on a fairly regular fashion. Just like the old man that one, speed just above a sloth, but pure genius in front of the net. A little lazy on defense sometimes, but that’s not really in the job description if you only read the first line or two of the job description.

Man I love watching kids play hockey. Allie scored twice the other night, thanks to being put with all the top talent on the team(Who made it their mission to get Allie a goal) She finished though–twice. She’s got it in her, she just needs to learn how to play hockey at a much faster pace. She has great coaches and I can’t wait to see the progress by the end of the year. The coaching our kids are both receiving this year is awesome and we couldn’t be happier.

I have regularly received videos from Justin’s coach at 1am. These aren’t your ordinary videos either, they are done on an app that allows for slow motion and drawing on the screen, and the coach talking about where my kid was “supposed” to be. I tell his coach all the time that you cannot saddle a genius to a game plan, and that the true superstars have to be left free to improvise on even the best game plans. In other words–Hey coach I don’t know where the little shit will end up, but I know it most likely won’t be anywhere near where he is supposed to be, let’s all just hope he gets lucky and scores from out of position. It works at about a 58.6% clip so far.

Are there still people laying in the highway or did they go away when the cameras did? Why is beef jerky so expensive? little pictures have big ears, how will exxon mobile ever survive with only 80 billion a year in profits now that a barrel of oil is so low, who gives a shit, squirrel, is Christmas over yet, 12 bars of Christmas bus tomorrow, everyone in the world is sick, my kids eat a lot of Peanut butter, I need a long vacation with my wife, anyone want to watch my kids for a week–you MUST love hockey, we no longer require a background check–just please take them:) Blue green water is high on my list of needs, next to beer, pizza, water, air, sleep– It is always cloudy around here, it’s depressing and cruel, no arctic plunges so we got that going for us, I am most excited that there is NO SNOWPILE in front of my house, I hate the snowpile with a passion, I am bored and depressed when I have to go more than a day without one of my kids playing hockey, Jen is right–i’m in trouble when they quit playing, I won’t have a need to stalk Bismark’s youth hockey page to see how good their Peewee team is,(as if I know that a loss to Minot means we should be able to beat them anyway) It’s really hard to find out information on Canadian youth hockey teams, What the hell is an Atom, you people need to learn English, Merry Christmas, if you have any ideas of what to get my wife for Christmas please send them my way, I give her a list and she gives me nothing, not fair, maybe I should get her everything on her list, whaddaya think of those apples

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