It Rains alot around here–Axe is for kids

It’s been a long while since I have had the urge to write anything, which must mean I am generally less pissed off about things.  Winter is finally over, there I have called it, but It should arrive again in less than 4 months.  I would like to say I have a sunnier outlook, but it appears now we are just going to drown instead of freeze.  We just can’t have anything nice. Baseball tournaments are shortenend, fishing tournaments I get poured on or because the water is rising so fast we can’t catch fish, soccer games constantly cancelled. You get the general idea, but I think it’s about to get nicer.

I bought a container of Axe body wash the other day. I’ve been using it for a couple of weeks and not one single woman has thrown herself at me. I wasn’t really looking for that outcome, but I have seen the commercials. I must not be using it right or something. When you go to Home Depot or Menards is it more advantageous to park near the in door or the out door?  My brain almost melts down everytime I enter the parking lot. Being a generally lazy person I want to do what’s easiest, but there really is no answer. I usually park in-between somewhere creating an equally long walk going in and coming out.  This feels like a win win, but it’s really not.  Why doesn’t Diana Ross get in trouble for her comment about the birds? That Obama guy made a huge mistake, but I know some people who cannot ever admit that to be the truth, I dislike all of them equally so don’t go there Jim.

World cup Soccer in a week. I can hardly wait. Stop yawning everyone. The USA stands very little chance, but they do have a chip and a chair. Joe Mauer is overpaid and needs to get meaner. It’s not going to happen.  I guess we will just have to be happy with smiley nice guy who grounds out to second for $20 million a year, which also will allow us to not be competitive for the next 10 years.  I miss Justin’s hockey team and their families. I didn’t say I missed winter and hockey arenas and all that stuff, just the people that we spent all winter with and around.  Baseball season has been up and down. The boys have a bunch of talent, but haven’t been displaying it every game like they can. I have no doubt we are about to see a really good stretch of baseball soon.  Allie’s soccer team has been tearing it up and our little striker is shining away.  ARSENAL WON THE FA CUP     She is having a blast and enjoys playing soccer almost as much as hockey I think.  Arjen Robben is a cheater.

Some drunk asshole decided to  try to drive my lovely wife off the road last week. He followed her for about 10 miles scaring the crap out of her.  He was really tormenting her and putting her in unbelievable danger. I’d like to spit a little beech nut in that dude’s eye–if you know the song you’ll get it.  I was more than a little pissed off and wishing I could have been a little closer to where she was. I wish someone would steal my car. It has a lot of work that needs to be done and I don’t want to do it. I have never liked that stupid Saturn. We are trying to sell it if you want it.  Needs some work, but YOU will love it I promise:) The guy was extremely drunk by the way and he was extremely pulled over a short time later

No turkey for Justin. We didn’t get to hunt much, but he officially hunted with his own gun and license.  I like craft beers, I used to hate beers that tasted like hops, now I can’t find a beer that tastes enough like hops. It’s wierd how things like that change. I am having a hard time being able to drink a Corona and I used to think I wanted to move to Mexico and live in a box less than a year ago. I still would  live in a box on the beach in Mexico, but I would like a craft brewery to open up nearby my box please. I have decided I am going to start collecting the growlers from small craft breweries. I have never been a collector of anything, but collecting something that holds beer seems like a fine idea to me.  Honey–don’t you think that sounds like a good idea?  You told me to find a hobby–I’m just doing what you told me to do :)  I have Red Wing and Bemidji brewery so far, if anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them.  Leech lake brewing company is next on the list.

I need to golf more, I wonder if Jim’s back is better?, I really really want to go to Vegas, but it’s too hot, I am applying for a short call teaching license to be a sub next year instead of a lunch lady, school is out!!, the trees have their leaves, the mosquitos are now in charge. skunks are terible pedestrians, not as bad as raccoons but close, taking pictures of eagles with smart phones is a dumb idea, a beer with Keith needs to happen soon, my driveway needs to be fixed–Sellman if you’re listening I can make you rich, or something like that, I will miss the daily knock knock jokes from 1st graders, almost time to start skating again, I got to catch a fish, it had been awhile,  Justin is going to get a phone soon, please don’t tell Justin he’s going to get a phone soon, also please return Justin’s phone to Justin when you find it soon–please and Thank you, good kid poor concentration,  I have won the war on the dandelion, it took 3 weeks, should one get sore from picking dandelions?,  Stanley cup playoff hockey is as good as it gets, road construction, gnats, wood ticks, snakes, pollen, shirtless hairy people, all bad things that come with warmth, not bad enough to trade for cold, need to win the lottery, note to self–play the lottery, go watch home movies of your kids when they were little

I don’t like noise, I mean any noise, it makes me irritable, vacuum cleaners are the worst, but many other things cause my noise irritation as well, I wonder if it’s a condition?, took 25th out of 55 boats in the fishing tournament, We once finished 3rd out of 93 boats in this tournament, I didn’t get a trophy, I wanted a trophy, the 3rd place team the year before got trophys, they only gave them through 2nd place the year I took 3rd, I really wanted that trophy, I blame my brother, he had nothing to do with it, but I blame him anyway. The 3rd place team all 6 years before we took 3rd got trophies, just sayin’,  spoons clanging on the side of glass bowls really bothers me, Justin bangs the cereal bowl every morning, and Jen apparantly puts ice cream inside the glass of the bowl and then she has to slowly scrape the side trying to release the trapped ice cream, I know it’s not right but it has to be a condition, I’m not in control and must be forgiven or at least given free medication. If I am causing the noise it doesn’t bother me, go figure, it’s been about 5 years since I watched the movie Fletch, I miss watching that movie about 1 time a week. Go Rangers, that was for you Eric

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