Justin and Allie have made their choices

It’s March 23rd and it’s 7 degrees outside, I bet you can imagine how bad I want to choke Pharrell. I refused to scrape my windshield when I left for work this morning. I just kept spraying washer fluid on it until the defroster warmed up. I’m not shoveling or scraping until at least next November, so stay out of my way until I am at least to county road 2.

The elderly really should not have smartphones. Justin and I were at the cafe in New Market yesterday and a little 80 year old lady’s phone starts ringing.  She pulls out this huge android phone. I just about fell out of my booth. It was the funniest looking thing. Problem was she couldn’t hear anything, so she puts in on speaker and proceeds to start yelling/talking to the other old person. It was quite comical and yet so tragic.  This huge phone and this little old lady trying to have a conversation with a mostly deaf person on the other end,  in the middle of a packed restaurant.  Good stuff

In light of some recent happenings, I would like to take this opportunity to head off all the calls and mailings. Justin will be attending San Diego State University on a baseball/golf scholarship and Allie will be attending the University of Hawaii on a soccer scholarship and their mom and dad will split equal time between each university until long after they have graduated.  I heard it’s best to commit now. I know neither of these schools has asked or offered, but I thought I would get ahead of the game.  It will be a challenge for their parents and neither child will be given a say in the matter, but in the end, we will all be very happy, or at least I will.  Anything for my children, that’s what I always say.

My children had no idea who popeye was. How did I let them get to 8 and 11 without knowing who Popeye was?  I felt like a failure.  I quickly youtubed Popeye eating spinach to lay the groundwork, but I then realized there was so much more to teach my little people. How do they learn about Brutus, Olive Oyl, Swee ‘Pea, Wimpy and the rest, unless I teach them. They will have no understanding of “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a Hamburger today”  They will definately be made fun of.  Mostly by me as usual, but also by the two other kids who parents made sure to educated their children on all the  70’s and 80’s cartoons.  Do kids know who Yogi, Scooby, Scrappy, road runner, bugs bunny, and so many others are?  What do they think a sleestak is?  Who are the really rottens?  So many things to teach them and yet so little reason to do so.

5 cars at the endzone this morning, must have been a good night last night,  how does one lose an entire airplane?, bizarre—

Justin made the AAA baseball team, his dad nearly had a heart attack when I looked at the website and it said he was on the AA team.  I had apparantly grabbed the screen when they were loading the pinney numbers and it was last year’s results.  I wasn’t in a good place and thankfully Paula Brohmer intervened at the perfect time and kept me from falling over the edge. It has been difficult/fun to watch Lakeville North have such a nice run. The hard part is knowing that some of those are South kids and wishing we would get our shit together and fix our problems so they don’t need to leave to be successful. Doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.

Justin made the mistake of calling an actor important. It was someone who was in trouble or overdosed or something and he made the mistake of saying “they were important, right?”  To which my response was to teach the difference between important and famous.

Important–your mother, father, sister, family, friends and people that are generally good in the world.  They are also people who contribute to the well being of others and who have a direct impact on your life.  There is a large difference between these people and those who are simply famous. These people don’t generally break laws, they will answer the phone when you call them, they will come get you when you need a ride, no matter what you did.  They all know your name and most know when your birthday is.  They are anyone you meet from here forward in your life, until they give you reason to believe otherwise. They deserve your attention and respect and should be treated the way your mother has taught you to treat those people and not the way your father has taught you to treat those people.

famous– Everyone knows who you are because you play something, get arrested, stand in front of a camera and pretend to be something you are not, sing while grabbing your crotch, or your parents have money. None of these things are important and absolutely none of them means you have any sort of intelligence at all. You shall never confuse the two and shall never place more importance on the famous over the important.

Justin then looked at me and said, “whatever dad, he’s famous then right?”  Yep kid-the idiot who got arrested is famous not important-you know like the president and congress.

Those of you who have kids at JFK–Do you ever wonder why they lock all the front doors except one?  Is there evidence that suggests that bad people will leave if all but one door is locked?  why wouldn’t they just come in the one unlocked door like I do?  This all seems quite odd to me, but maybe someone can offer an explination that makes sense. Maybe they think if there is two of them, then only one could come in, but wouldn’t they just both use the same door and come in single file?  I’m so confused, please help.

In light of the stupid sign in front of me banning guns on these premises, I am going to list other stupid signs I would like to see put up. 

A sign banning accidents on 35w and 494 would be appreciated, a sign at Ames arena banning poor decisions by the ref would be nice, a sign banning potholes, a sign banning old people and smartphones, a sign at the bank banning robberies on this premises–that should stop all bank robbers right?, a sign banning kids standing in front of the tv, a sign banning squirrels on my deck, a sign banning all Sioux jerseys at NCAA sanctioned events–they all won’t be able to go as they have nothing else to wear, a sign banning all signs that don’t make sense, a sign banning geese on golf courses, a sign banning dirty clothes and dishes,  There are so many other things that signs cannot help with, but I’m bored and I bet so are you.  Point is–signs only work for those of us who already do the right thing, but I guess they make certain other people feel better.

LA in 4 days, We are staying at Venice Beach for 5 days, several people have now made us question our decision. It apparantly has a lot of “unique’ personalities hanging around. Weed is sold openly by “medicine men” who write prescriptions on the spot for whatever ails you. I could care less about most of it, but the kids reactions should be interesting.  We get to watch the Wild and Kings on Monday and go to Disney on Wednesday.   Best of all, We get to be warm and together. There is never a bad day when you are at the beach on the ocean.  I also get to spend time with one of the Jims and that’s never a bad thing.

The University of Minnesota won the NCAA bass fishing National Championship, first time a school north of the Mason Dixon line has ever won it, I didn’t even know it existed until they were on the radio on the way in today,  couldn’t be more proud of the gopher fishing team, I’m a huge fan. cookies are good, snow needs to go, trees need leaves, soccer fields need little girls running and screaming, baseball fields need bats cracking, another squirrel is close to crossing over, I expect my neighbors to have the snowpile gone when I return as it cannot always be me who shovels it around the street to speed up it’s demise–Jason, my christmas lights are still up and so is the tree in the backyard, Drive in movie theatre in Elko–WOOHOO!!, I need to see hairball soon, Donald Trump is kind of an idiot, I didn’t win the lottery except when I married Jen, but I didn’t win the lottery thing with the balls and millions of dollars attached to it lottery, I want to go fishing

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