The force is strong in this one and stages of Elementary School children

I have far too many hats. The top of the armoire(thingy that holds the tv) in our bedroom has about 20 hats on it. I wear about 3 of them, but they all have their place. I am very picky about hats.   I leave the cardboard that comes with the hat, in the hat. I hate it when the front of a hat falls down and looks flat, they MUST remain firm in the front. Wierd, I know, but it is what it is. Construction sucks–I have seen more of Prior Lake than I ever wanted to. Hockey tryouts tomorrow, I’m way more nervous than Justin is, but he is actually a little nervous, which isn’t normal for him

Justin’s desire to hunt is unbelievable, we drive around and he spends his whole time looking for ducks, geese, turkeys, deer, or whatever animal he can try to convince me to kill.  Jen is particularily thrilled to know of every flock of mallards flying within 5 miles of the car at all times. Don’t get me wrong, I love to hunt and when the time is right I will look forward to it, but his obsession is bordeline problematic. For those of you who don’t hunt, you have no idea what I mean when I say “the force is strong in this one”. You think it’s a star wars reference and it is, but the force I am talking about is a feeling that comes over a Loer male about late August and only gets stronger as you move through September and can turn into a mind numbing obsession in October. Geese that were once a pain in the ass on the golf course, suddenly take on a different appeal.  They all of the sudden are not just  poop filled sky carp, but are now the cunning enemy, majestic flying fortresses, bogies, enemy combatants, carriers of bird flu, and they must  be tricked within killing range and dealt with immediately.  The force is not as strong in me as it once was, but it is still there. I only worry that I will not be able to nurture it in my young Jedi warrior of a son.  It appears as though I cannot do anything to screw it up though. He told me the other day that he needs to spend more time with Grandpa because “Dad, you don’t even like to hunt”.  I’m not sure about that one kid, but I know I am not nearly as obsessed about it as he is. So of course he sees that as I no longer like to hunt. I can’t win.

The trip to Portland was fun and seeing Jojo and Jim unfortunately turned out to be the highlight. I love them, but I wanted to catch Salmon.  Our guide was a tool and the commercial fishermen took 28,000 Salmon out of the river the night before we arrived.  Our guide fell asleep, almost never changed bait, never once moved, lied to customers on the phone in front of us, didn’t clean our 1 fish, smelled funny, oh wait that was Jim, and in general wasn’t very good at his job.  Crab fishing was a blast and I had the most fun watching Redmond pull up the crab pots.  He was having a blast and so was I, it was a hoot.  I would love to do it again, but I would do the fishing different. 

Why does my garbage can tell me ” Don’t roll cart with the lid open”, I did it and nothing happened. It just rolled up the driveway and right alongside the garage like it always does. Have they had problems with injuries from people rolling their garbage cans with the lid open?  were their lawsuits that people actually won against garbage companies?  who would think to file a suit against the garbage company when they were dumb enough to roll the can with the lid open down the driveway and cause injury to themselves.  I would crawl back in my house and hope to god the neighbors didn’t see my dumb ass get hurt by my garbage can and then I would never speak of it again. It’s snowing in the Dakotas, they deserve it for living in the dakotas, but crap it’s snowing.

Hockey tryouts, snow close by, leaves falling. I think the next few months should allow for cranky Chris to re-emerge. As if I ever went away. Dude at work vacuums the rug for like 10 minutes and it drives me crazy, LT knows what I am talking about.  It has to be the cleanest rug in the history of rugs. It’s like a 5×2 rug that should take like 12 seconds to vaccuum. I don’t want winter to come, I have been flipped off 3 times this week by people who drive like idiots, one of them was like a 70 year old lady, the speed limit signs are meerly suggestions people, If I am too close–GO FASTER

I think it’s cute that everyone gets so worked up about the government shutdown and posts clever little sayings on facebook. I have seen how much congress makes and tons of cute little posts about how people have decided to not pay their taxes because they are  themselves going on a shutdown.  I hope you all realize they aren’t reading your facebook page and they could care less what we think.  They have all enclosed themselves in a cocoon so insulated that none of what anyone says or thinks matters. Their re-election does not hang in the balance, because the vast majority of them will never be held accountable and even if they do, they will ride off into the sunset with their pensions and health care. Take a Nancy Pelosi for instance, it doesn’t matter that she cannot connect two intelligent thoughts together or one for that matter.  The only thing that matters is that she can raise money and she resides in a state that will only elect a democrat. I only pick on Nancy because it is so easy, but the same goes for any money loving Republican from Texas or Mississippi.  The point being that none of it matters, so go back to posting jokes or what your kids are doing or where you are on vacation, or whatever you are doing that is far more interesting than politics, we have proven over and over again that most of us don’t care, so quit boring us with your clever little shutdown sayings.

Macadamia nuts are awesome, Why is it that everyone with eyes can see Christian Ponder just isn’t going to be a good Quarterback, except Leslie Frazier?  I like christian and he seems like a good guy and all, but he will never be Tom Brady or even Tommy Kramer for that matter.  QB’s never ever recover from this kind of start to a career and go on to become great players. We have all seen how this goes and Ap is going to be washed up before we get it right.  The people that say AP will never run for 2,000 yards again are the same people that said he would never recover from his knee injury, yet they say it with such a smugness about them. Only 3 people have ever run for that many yards so saying he won’t do it doesn’t really take that much great insight, but saying it like you know you are right just makes you look stupid, FYI  Dude is a beast and saying he cannot do something is just silly, jelousy will get you nowhere

We all live here right now because I guarantee that most of you have forgotten just how horrible spring was.  You say you remember, but you really don’t.  You have forgotten about the several May snowstorms, the shoveling, the constant wind, icy roads, suicidal thoughts, anger, despair, glimmers of hope that were dashed by more snow, no baseball field open until June, constant rain changing to snow, no flowers until mid June, cars in the ditch on May 17th, school closings in May, ice still on most northern lakes at opener, no leaves on the trees, no golf until almost May, need I go on.  We must remember otherwise how does one remain angry. If you forget you find peace and who really wants that?  Never forget

I have been working the lunch coverage at an Elementary School in New Prague all this week. I know I know, netflix and the couch miss me.  I have these observations:

  Kindergarten:  Cute little kids that will hug you without warning and haven’t a care in the world. Mostly confused about what to do and can’t wait for recess. The blue lines on the floor are their for them to follow.

1st grade:  Pretty much like Kindergarten kids, but with a little more savvy and smarts about which garbage can to put your milk carton in at lunch time and how to get places without following all the blue lines.

2nd grade:  Starting to worry about what’s cool, but still mostly a semi-smart and sophisticated 1st grader. still dressing funny and not combing their hair, but getting a little better. Less red shorts and maroon T-shirts as their 1st grade counterparts

3rd grade: Spend most of your time hopeful the 5th graders don’t see you with Ketchup on your chin, this is where behavior turns from cute to somewhat correctional, the devious side is starting cross the 50/50 threshold, Less cute smiles and more dirty looks. Embarrased if talked to by a teacher.

4th grade:  Absolutely will not look you in the eye and they must avoid all adult contact at any cost, being cool is the only objective and it is a full time job, grooming is starting to get better and half of the boys actually match and have combed their hair. The girls have reached the low 90% area of matching and combing, some even shower in the morning at this grade level

5th grade:  Less stress as you can now boss around everyone underneath you for one year, The king of the Jungle and could cares less about what anyone else thinks. Only the Kindergarten kids rival the 5th graders in being self-absorbed, behavior is definately correctional and not cute and will only continue to trend that way for the next 10 years.

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